I Don't Want to Remember

I cut myself...

and watched as the pain left
my open flesh
etched
as the razor blade swept
over memories
and swept away
memories that refuse to let me rest.

Awoken by stuttering utters as this piece is read.
I choose to suffer for no other as my peace is red.
Screw what all of you perceive as correct!
How about you try living an existence bathed in regrets,
But not cleansing of the stains of mistakes!

The truth is a fake,
Changing to societies sway.
If society may leave me to live with it my way…
I trace
Trails of bread crumbs I left along the way,
So I could find my way back to my fantasies each moment I’m awake...

Do not judge my touched skin!
Do not rush to point fingers!
You don't know where I’ve been,
And I don't want to remember!
Condescending with your grins,
Which cut deeper than razors!
And as the tears fall from my chin,
My sins, replaced by endless winter...